FRESHIE WIVES, AKHI CHAVS AND GHETTO SNOBS - STATE OF EDUCATION OF MUSLIMS IN REDBRIDGE

Author: Anonymity requested by Author.

I have been following discussions over Islamic Schools and there are issues but most of our kids are state schools. I have recently moved into Redbridge and wonder what has happened to this okayish "Leafy" borough as it used to be known as.

I also wonder how come Hindus [be it Hindi speaking or Tamil speaking] do exceptionally well especially with the latter achieving amazing results and excellent general behaviour whilst I have observed the following behavioural patterns [general statements]:

Poor results due to multiple reasons such as poor parenting, fake benefit claims whilst building empty palaces and shopping malls back in Mirpur and Sylhet, bad peers, poor diet (meat and pfc obsessed hence we have them everywhere to sustain more freshie workers], convertable hijabs or tight wearing pant hijabis with boyfriends, worst aspects of black gang culture whilst supposedly "living in the hoods", redundant mosques, general decline of UK due to neo-classical policies during 80s-90s and so on and now we are paying the price.

Lets be honest, why have South Indians done relatively well [yes they have issues]. We are into the 3rd and 4th generation and we are still performing poorly and behaving worse. Forget conspiracy, I am fed up! and living in South Ilford is no different from Newham or Tower Hamlets or any other ghetto disgusting areas [where the SUV is a status symbol] and his son or daughter can't read or speak English, makes you kind of think, why don't we export these BritishMuslim kids to India and cleanse them from this "init" mentality.

I think we need to look harder, yes we need more role models such as Muslim men teachers [as our sister teachers once married you never see them again, thus end of any role model]; more proactive Muslim Governors and not useless parrots that we have now and generally removing this apathy to do anything due to the following reasons:

1. FRESHIE WIVES: Married to our Bollywood or wannabe Rudeboy Chavs. Brought up "back home", with the exception of a few, most who can and speak english but will only do so when they feel like it or when its FREEBIE mentality.They spent their youth in the villages watching endless satelite trash be it McGyver re-runs or Asian love soaps.

Most of them are lazy, smelling of curry when they go to school, and because housing benefit is there and all is free in the land of the infidels who stole everything from the Muslims, why should I bother?

They don't turn up for parents evenings, you translate letters into their languages but simply don't care. Contrast that with my parents who came in the 60s who had no choice to work, these freshie wives are an issue.

2. AKHI CHAVS : A life on benefits and now see the light alhumdulliah but its all the kufars fault akhi. So won't participate because it means selling out so the issues. Too busy at rallies and leafleting, or checking people's creed, when his own son or daughter is like a "Bart Simpson with Thobes" or "tahara" of their daughters hijab is lacking. Have a poor understanding of the "urf" of British culture so their understanding of Quraan and the Sunnah derived of from their own ijtihad even though they have no Shariah knowledge means all drama, P.E and music lessons are haram (its qati akhi, no room for differences).

Hence we have Muslims kids who are not confident, multiple personality syndromes, lacking any expression when ironically learning arabic or islamic sciences was done via poetry, obese and docile kids and the list goes on.

Some Heads and teachers bend over backwards to appease them but with their freshie wives, add the Muslim Bollywood or wannabe Rudeboy chavs we have what we see in Luton today.

Demonstrate but with wisdom and not like chavs - Akhi chavs and indentured child-laboured produced haramain thobes - very ethical and sunnah like - yeah right!

3. GHETTO SNOBS : Those who they made it because they have a degree and work in a professsional capacity or own a business. Despite knowing all and seeing of this, choose to either ignore or complain like armchair philosphers or critics without willing to depart from their wealth and time.

Hence we see either 10 SUVs parked in their front drives for only 3, the fake disability badges come out of Friday Jummahs and moaning about the cost of school trips or when their weekly petrol for their Chelsea tractors costs 3 times more. Wow look at me and my fake CK Hijab, sign of times when religion becomes just a fashion.

Willing to set up a Parent Association? No time! Become a Governor! No time. In fact some of their kids have the worse attributes, obese and brats because they are spoilt rotten who can't even speak a word or coherent English. How can bud buds newly arrive speaker, behave better and have a more inteligent outlook to the world?

Conclude: So with more divorced people sending their children to Islamic Schools, halal meat being the top prority of Muslim in State schools, forget behaviour, results, meat, meat and more PFCs, our uncles create to sustain the freshies from Sylhet and Mirpur otherwise the construction of those empty "Mahals" will come to an end!

Redbridge Muslims have really put education as a priority !

General tips On managing a Muslim household

by a Muslim-Mums member (anonymity requested)

**When prayer time comes drop what you are doing and pray. Many of us will think "as soon as I finish the dishes........" or "...as soon as I finish this load of laundry...". There is no blessing in doing anything if it keeps you away from your obligation to Allah.

DROP EVERYTHING and do your salat!

**Take care of your own needs. How many of us spend our days taking care of everyone in our families and forgetting to take care of ourselves? Did you ever skip out on eating to finish the vacuuming or get up to do the dishes when you should have taken a much-needed nap? When you are hungry.... eat. When you are tired...sleep. You will be able to cope with everything in the house much better if you are fed and rested. If you are hungry and exhausted you are going to be grouchy and ill tempered and probably not able to accomplish much anyway.

**Beautify yourself. Keep yourself fit. Drink lots of water. Take care of your hair and skin. Don't stop doing cartwheels and climbing trees. Having a good self-esteem can go a long way in having a healthy state of mind.

** Clear your mind. Avoid the TV. Avoid gossipy phone chitchat. Keep yourself preoccupied with matters of the religion and the matters of the ummah. Don't ever feel satisfied with yourself that making dua' is enough.

There is jihad going on. Women, babies, and the innocent are being slaughtered. If you are a Muslim then THIS IS YOUR PROBLEM (not what is going to happen tomorrow on Days of Our Lives).

** Control your temper. Don't scream at your children. Take deep, DEEP breaths. Seek refuge from shaytan. DO NOT SCREAM. Now that you are fed, rested, beautiful, calm and making salat on time, enlist the help of your family members.

**Let your husband help you. Its well known that a lot of "Muslim" husbands don't do housework or help with babies as this is "women's work". I assume that this is not the norm, since the Prophet (saws) himself was known to cook and sew. Every husband brings his contribution to his family. Whatever it is, no matter how small let him know that you appreciate it and pray for him.

**Raise responsible children. Even toddlers and pre-schoolers and give you a hand in the housework. Some mothers think that it is too much of a hassle to teach them and it is just easier and faster if they do it themselves. It's a hassle in the beginning, but once they learn the system it's a HUGE help. Even little things, like knowing how to pour their own juice, is a tremendous help. Okay, so what about the house?

**Simplify your home! When your house is a mess, your mind is a mess." Isn't that so true! Clear out the clutter. Get rid of all that stuff that is getting on your nerves. It is so much easier to clean up when you don't have that much stuff to clean up anyway. Don't save anything in case SOMEDAY you might need it. There is probably a Muslim somewhere who could use it TODAY.

**Create a homeschool-functional house. Create a home that will serve your family not impress your guests! When all else fails and your having a rotten day........

**Improve the atmosphere. Open a window, burn some incense, play some Qur'an recitation or nasheed.

And finally...

** Get assistance from multimedia. Keep a library of educational CD's and Videos. I regularly check out National Geographic and others from my local library. Play them a video or put on a CD and feel good that they are learning something, not just wasting time!

Do you have any tips? Tell me about them......

Help! I want to get married…

That’s what you hear from a lot of singletons at the moment. Where do you look for your Mr/Miss Right; Soul-mate; other half…whatever you may want to call them. Let’s face it – getting hitched is a hot topic in cosy front rooms; internet forums and even blogs like this!

It’s no longer the Aunty two doors down from you or your Uncle (who is your related to your grandfather’s mother’s cousin) that is matchmaking.

No, there is a new phenomenon. Guess where matchmaking occurs now? Personal ads, chat rooms, marriage sites and marriage events. These services can offer every age, race, sex, lifestyle and you can virtually special-order Miss Right from an endless spectrum of choices.

It eventually occurs to some people who haven’t a clue where to look, that potential wifey does not know your address or your mum’s phone number and therefore won’t be making any appearance on your doorstep anytime some, (despite your PHD and BMW parked in the driveway).

What’s quite disturbing and I hope you noticed this, is the number of so-called halal-based marriage events and web sites which have been set up since the explosion of the internet.

Every Tom, Dick and Hamzah is jumping on the band wagon hoping to offer their expert nuptual strategy for you to meet your darling “other half” and not forgetting them making a quick buck along the way just so that it keeps them motivated to do "their bit for the Ummah" so to speak.

Moving on to the subject of cost and this is where the real exploitation seems to occur. Ticket prices of events for example, are known to be in the region of £25.00 to a whopping £56.00. For the latter, I would be expecting a Michelin-standard meal in the West End. But no, it’s some naff restaurant off the Wilmslow Road offering a 3 course meal….

Organisers of events and websites (who provide matrimonial services) would argue that they have to cover overhead costs and pay themselves some sort of salary to live on. Let’s be realistic or even SANE, these types of business are a side-line to these people and not necessarily a means of running their household. And if I am wrong, they must be raking it in judging by the number of absolutely desperate people who want to settle down. I guess they would pay anything to meet a muslimah or two.

If muslims really want to help out their own muslim brothers and sisters, these services would be free – using money raised through fundraising or from their own pocket. I know I would!

Who cares about a meal? Why waste time and money…let’s get down to the crux of meeting people. It’s almost like these organisers are out of touch with what people want. Brothers and Sisters, let us remind them – you just want someone to marry. A cuppa tea and hot samosa will suffice.

Lets be frank here – the real focus of their attention is money…

…£, $, € seems to be their distraction.

Oh let’s not forget to give one final re-mention to these marriage websites…might aswell have a good dig at them now we are on a roll here…

Claiming to be halal; success stories being plastered all over their homepages to show how “what a great service we provide,” it dawned me that there are naïve sisters and brothers out there who are being sucked into a nasty world of dating; casual sex; free-mixing and all things un-islamic.

Islam places two responsibilities on to man, (1) as the “individual” and (2) as “group”. In regards to the responsibility of the individual, he takes responsibility for his own self:

"And if Allah wills He would certainly make you a single nation, but He causes to err whom He wills and guides whom He wills; and most certainly you will be questioned as to what you did." (15:93)

"Nay! man is evidence against himself. Though he puts forth his excuses." (75:14-15)

The above verse makes reference to man being responsible before Allah (swt) for his own speech, deeds and behavior. Man will be judged on the Day of Resurrection. Man is responsible for his own actions – did he exploit these to boost himself and his worldly interests. Man has been given intellect and how he has used this intellect – whether misdirected, deceiving others, or using corrupt practices.

For those that are genuine in their search, they face an uphill struggle to find that special one. Where the community; elders and even the Imaams at the masaajids have let them down, there leaves a big gaping hole where scrupulous muslims under the guise of “helping the Ummah”, are ready to plug that hole and tap into a market which is forever growing. (A credit crunch isn’t going to stop people wanting to get married).

According to my calculations, this problem isn’t going to go away any time soon and so I must stress my intent here is to enlighten, not to patronise those who go to great lengths to help our fellow muslim brothers and sisters. Your gallant efforts and unbridled enthusiasm are genuinely appreciated – although you can hear the hint of sarcasm in what I am saying.

On a final note, these singletons have yet to experience the busy suburban housewife and a husband who hates his job syndrome…but then that’s another story.

Don’t lead me into temptation...I can find that path myself

Sex, drugs and….rock and roll, so you have heard that famous and most-glamorised statement right? Some of the main reasons for rebellious behaviour and leaning towards evil among the youth today are due to having indecent friends. The influence of evil friends can set in quickly and if a child lacks Islamic principles, he is easily influenced by others and lacks a strong relationship with his own family. He will imitate the actions of his friends and is more likely to listen to them and trust them. It can then become more difficult to bring them on the straight path. It is important therefore, to monitor and supervise children. In addition, parents should keep an eye on their child’s choice of friends.

Keeping children in an environment where noble people are greater in number such as study circles; masaajids; and Islamic Schools will help the child to be around people whose lives revolve around good deeds and, fear of Allah (swt) and respect for Islamic boundaries. They can learn good manners and even imitate them. The Qur’an states that we should avoid evil company:

The day will come when the transgressor will bite his hands (in anguish) and say, “Alas, I wish I had the followed the path with the messenger. (25:27)

“Alas, woe to me, I wish I did not take that person as a friend” (25:28)

“He has led me away from the message after it came to me. Indeed, the devil lets down his human victims.” (25:29)

There is a hadith which states that “each person is in the deen of friends. Therefore it behoves us to choose our friends with care.” (Tirmidhi)

In Bukhari and Muslim it states that “A good friend is like the owner of mushk, whereas a bad companion is like the blower of a kiln. The possessor of mushk will present you with mushk, or you can buy it from him, or you can enjoy its fragrance smell. On the other hand, a kiln operator may burn clothes, even if it does not, the unpleasant odour will affect you.”

“A person will be in the company of those he befriends, and will receive whatever one strives for.” (Tirmidhi)

Before allowing a child to build a friendship, a parent is advised to observe with whom the friendship is being made. If serious effort is made on the part of the parent, choosing the right friends and environment have a great influence on a child, therefore, giving your full attention to this aspect of your child’s life reaps great reward not only for yourself but for your child. You can stand before you Lord on the Day of Judgement knowing you have fulfilled your duties and receive your just reward. Equally exhilarating would be to see your children enter Jannah as a result of your efforts and their own.

It is known that through “observing and experience,” a person who lives in a evil society ends up falling into evil. However, if a person is blessed with good muslim parents and good muslim companions, that person can become devout and pious in character. His strong values and fear of Allah (swt) will prevent him succumbing to evil desires because he knows his ultimate goal is to achieve what every muslim wants – paradise, the most amazing afterlife to come.

Don't blame me. I'm only doing what my Cornflakes told me to do!

In today’s current society much of the problems children and youth face is constant peer pressure much of which tends to revolve around evil deeds and un-islamic practices. However, parents can do a lot to save their children from such behavior by being good role models so that children can emulate it at a very young age.

One of the most important aspects is to instill confidence in their children. Praising them when they perform good deeds and encouraging them to be more determined and to try, try again when failure occurs. However, scolding children when they make mistakes; referring to the child as being cunning or crafty; calling a child lazy or degrading them in front of elders or other siblings can cause an inferiority complex. As a result of this psychological issue which can occur from as young as 3 years old, it can lead to the child being shy; withdrawn; easily influenced by others; rebellious to get attention and also having no reason to do good deeds when praise is always absent.

Parents have a duty to bring up their children mentally alert, emotionally happy and healthy and, well-developed intellectually.

Virtue can be embedded into a child when he hears and see his parents say and do everything impeccably. Islamic manners will be entrenched in them. If parents wish their children to be honest; kind; generous and trustworthy, then parents need to adopt these qualities in themselves first. If parents do not practice what they preach, then their children cannot be expected to be any better.

Children are born in an environment of monotheism and faith in Allah (swt). This is mentioned in Bukhari and Muslim and also Surah Ar-Rum (30:30):

So set thy purpose (O Muhammad) for religion as a man by nature upright - the nature (framed) of Allah, in which He hath created man. There is no altering (the laws of) Allah's creation. That is the right religion, but most men know not.

Through Islamic training and Islamic surroundings; interaction with pious people; by teaching your children good habits; teaching them the rules of shariah and the wisdom behind such rules, will help them to avoid the path of sin.

Their emaan in Allah (swt) will be fervent and strong and their decisions will be influenced by the boundaries set in Islam. In doing so they will attain mental discipline and, confidence and will ignore attention from external forces. They will not fall victim to pressures from an evil society which want them to act in accord with their prevailing standards; attitudes and practices.

Let us end this article with the example of Utbah bin Abi Sufyan who entrusted his son to a teacher. It was reported that these wise instructions were, “The children will watch you. They will consider virtuous whatever the murabbii considers a virtue. Tell them about the ‘ulema, the men of letters and the wise men. Teach them to respect and fear Allah Most High. Be like a physician to them”.